my story, her story....

i had a toughest time in my life lately..... or that's what i thought so....

i was so depressed and mad over whatever fucking reasons, that when i come think of it now, i don't actually know what i am mad about....

as i said, many things happened to me in ONE shot.... added with the little things that innocent people do, had caused a lot of unnecessary annoyance to me....


and i felt that my once clear and organized pathway is now nothing but a dark, misty, uncertain road....


this has then brought me to the position of the character in the poem, the road not taken by Robert Frost, where the main character has to decide between two divergence in his life....

but in my case, i can only see one way, though dark, mysterious and uncertain, i have no choice but to walk down what lies ahead.....

i am scared, i admit.....

therefore i grumbled and complaint, and mad and piss, and blamed and depress, and mad and lament, and this and that....

i was an angry, ungrateful soul, blinded and corrupted by greed, envy, pride, wrath...(pretty much of what are listed in the 7 deadly sins)


just when i think i had the most pathetic life of all, i read HER STORY.....

HER STORY: yvonne foong

HER STORY, was a remarkable one....

she had showed the world, how a fragile human soul can break free from all those circumstances, fight against all odds, and emerge from the norm....

sounds pretty much like just another ordinary success story??? read HER STORY before any judging here, pls....

HER STORY, told us that she had cheated death before.....

she was diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis Type 2 when she was just 16 years old who is going through an normal life....

this is just some of the MILD symptoms....

and that, changes what she is about to endure later on.....

she has gone from an ordinary person, to someone with an extraordinary life....

imagine

imagine waking up one day and found urself torn between life and death....

imagine leaving all the good things in life you once had, for these shits that u had never ever asked for...

imagine going thru tons of surgery just to be able to breathe another breath, not even to recover to the pink of health yet....

imagine having to worry of all those medicals bills that u need to pay, when the question whether u'll be alive the next day or not is still uncertain....

imagine having to endur all the pain and fighting with fate to spare ur own life, when u are becoming deaf, and almost die-d...

imagine despite all the bad things that happen to you, you're still able to hold on, and live a remarkable life to inspire others......





i imagined, if i were in any of those situation....

and i doubt if i can hold on any longer than what had been told in HER STORY....

and just when i thought my everyday life is a living hell, HER STORY slapped me real hard.....

i am nothing but selfish and useless.....

and i had been ungrateful.....

i am shameful for the complainings and grumblings i had made....

and YOU! should stop and think too, think of those things that u complain and said.....

think of the indulgence u're having now, think of others before making any statement....

cuz u may just hurt someone, or u may just end up making a fool of urself, asshole.







-correction:-

i'm not really mad, i'm more towards devastated....

devastated, to the point, that i will not give a damn anymore....

i am numb, that come whatever fucking, unrelated incidents, i will not be concerned and care as much as i used to...

i am cool now, i am moving on now, and i am certainly looking forward to anything better than this....

what lies ahead will not be the same as it used to, but we'll get accustomed to it, eventually.... =)

after all these shits, i have calmed down and rethink about all it....

and these shits thought me a real life lesson, an invaluable one....

it's always during the shittiest moments like these, that we are able to see clearly, of what we've been blinded so far.....

blinded by stupid and pointless stuffs.....

just when u thought so and so, just remember this lesson:

life is unfair, just deal with it.

and

homo sapiens are selfish; people are irresponsible.

but

don't give up though,

cuz there are still, (though RARE-ly), beautiful souls lingering around.




and i, am certainly, searching for the beautiful soul.....




a very, very abstract statement, from my mind.....