I am a Kelley School of Business Junior, majoring in both accounting and finance.

I decided to pick up that major 2 weeks before the deadline of my university application.

How infatuated I am with my major? I have no idea.

In fact, the reason I pick up Business is because it (so called) is the easiest subject, and has the widest prospect of all.

One semester in the Business school, I have a lot of doubts.

Doubts of whether I had chosen the right career path.

But when my sis introduced 'Dragon's Den' to me, I began to see Business in a much, much more complicated point of view.


After watching the show, I realized Business is not just about figures.


It is about creativity,

It is about timing,

It is about presentation,

It is about negotiation,

It is about performance,

It is about, EVERYTHING.






Getting a business degree is easy. It is just a matter of making it to the top.

Still, I am wondering whether had chosen the right track...

sze may is a special name

and i took pride of my name.

back in malaysia, i insist that people call me 'szemay' rather than just mayyy.

but stepping my feet onto angmoh-land, i realized it's just a pain in the ass trying to introduce myself as 'szemay'

-say whhaaat?-

and so i go by 'may', just 'may' nowadays

yet, i still fill out my name in forms or any other stuffs that require my name as 'szemay', and that sorta creates a buzz among the curious angmohs



-so, i see ur name in ur time card as 'szemay', how do u pronounce it?- -what's 'sze' in ur name? is it ur middle name? what does it mean?-


needless to say, i create a pile of bullshits to get out from those unnecessary conversations



-owh, yes, it is my middle name-
-simple, it is pronounced as 'sze'-
-urm, it is part of my name, but i would rather be called as just 'may'-


as i said, i am proud of my name, as it is very special.

but a simple search through the google engine, i realized it is not as special as i thought it would be.

see? even google knows i misspelled my own name, there's a space in between u moron!

my long lost twin-name sister

and it seems that i am married....

and someone celebrated my birthday without me knowing it's my own bday... weeirrddd

and and and, it seems like i have more facebook accounts that i had ever realized.

there may be gazillions 'szemay's out there, but rest assured, there will only be one kind of 'szemay' here,

what kind, you ask?




I AM ONE OF A KIND YA'LL!!!

p/s: owh, i made roti canai (or i would rather call it fried dough), and i ate all of them before i could grab my cameraaaa....

the difference between Joanna Wang and Norah Jones...

is that I love one, but hate the other. (or rather does not know how to appreciate the other)




just listen, and fall in love with her. =)

i feel so unproductiveee

everyday is the same old routine, bah.... [I am wasting my wonderful 青春...]

anyways, this blog is not about how i waste my time serving coffees and grilling paninis to annoying customersss....

I am proud to be a Malaysian. but perhaps, i have a i have a weird way of showing it.

I promote talented Malaysians (yeah, MY FRIENDS, to be specific); I lighted up when I meet Malaysians; I am so proud when people actually know about Malaysia...

But with the current turbulence back home created by none other than our 'beloved' politicians, thus indirectly causing a weak Ringgit against US Dollars, thus making my tuition fees look like it's cheaper to study in UK, thus making me not happy, thus......

and the infamous Anwar sodomy case that made it to New York Times and CNN.....

it makes me think twice before admitting i am from the sodomy nation....

-just kidding people, i don't hate my hometown, yet.-







ONE MORE WEEK YA'LLLLL, LONDON HERE I COMMEEEE!!! xD

school's starin'...

and everyone is leaving.

='(

to those heading towards different corners in malaysia to pursue the dreams of their lives....

GOOD LUCK

-friends, the obstacles that lay in front of our lives will shape who we are in the future; until we meet again, GOODBYE-

no it is not working

screw it, diets don't work.

at least not for me.

and it seems kinda impossible to lose all the weight before i meet my sister, in like a month's time?

correction, less than a month.

okay, some update of mine:

same old same old.

- yes, i am still slaving my weekdays working, serving coffees and grilling paninis
- my refrigerator is filled with food, courtesy of my friends who went home for summer, and that's why i said diets don;t work
- i finished the last harry potter book; a lil' too late, but it was all good. better to be late than never huh, plus, the movie is not out, yet.
- the current book that i am reading, the secret, is on its way to the last page (don't ask me why it took me so long to finish such a thin book)
- i am saving, counting down, waiting for my trip to come.
- i think my brain is rotting.


there you go. have a good summer peeps.

1/3 made in malaysia

Introducing South Jordan, a band formed not long ago in my current humble hometown, Bloomington.

It may seem like another ordinary band, but what makes this band so special is because of the lil' guy on the right in the picture.

His name is Mike Chan, and yes, he is from Malaysia. [ALL HAIL TALENTED MALAYSIANS!]

Mike is a music major in Indiana University's prestigious Jacob School of Music, which is ranked top 2 in the nation's best music school.

His major? - Music and audio recording. he plays sex, i mean SAX-ophone very, very well too...

Being a rare Malaysian here in Bloomington, and being an absolute admirer of talented people, and being a huge music lover, I am very proud of him for becoming a part of this band, for showing the world we Malaysians have talent ya'll!!!


Congratulations, Mike! =)

And there is no use for me to praise and comment and compliment all their greatness without you experience their music by yourself. So please please please, do me, and do your ears and soul a favor,

and visit:

• http://www.southjordanmusic.com

• http://www.myspace.com/southjordanmusic

and listen to what they have to offer. 100% satisfaction guaranteed.

(My current favorite is Take Your Time)


I do have high expectations on that band, which I assume I will see them being interviewed by Damien Fahey on Mtv's TRL some time soon. =D

GO! South Jordan!!!

home

my friends are home.

my friends will be going home.

but i am still here.

currently listening and falling in love with Nocturnes (3) For Piano, Op. 9, Ct. 108-110: II. Nocturne No. 2 in E Flat Major, Op. 9, CT. 109.

i have this jealousy....

when parents of my friends come to visit, or when they are traveling with their parents, they don't have to worry about expenses and spending for shopping.

they don't have to worry about, MONEY.

but in my case, instead of leaving all the financial issues to my parents, I have to worry about and handle my own budget.

there will not be a chance where my parents will say: "Nah, here are XXX dollars, spend it."


as a matter of fact, that will always, and only be my fantasy.


in a way, that condition turned me into a more money wise person; or in other words, stingy.



although I do, at many many times wish that my parents have the ability to let me splurge and spend, but i never blame my fate and destiny.


cuz I have become more mature, more independent.




So,


Hey you!


yes YOU!



You rich filthy bastards who take things for granted out there,



I am proud to say that I am earning and spending my own money.





How bout you?


think, and be ashamed of urself when you ask for money just to fulfill your unnecessary materialistic cravings.




yes, this is my jealousy doing all the talking here.

in case you haven't notice it on facebook

they have a good intention on posting my pics thru facebook....

but on the other hand, i don;t really appreciate to be tagged on a picture where i look bloated like this....

damn semangat to lose weight now.

实行减肥计划， 减油啊！！！

ole~!

okay, for some reasons, i am more hype to tour Brazil than my upcoming tour to UK...

and so i did some research on air fares....


i figured that my fall semester will end 2 weeks earlier, i might as well use that date as my potential brazil trip date...


if i depart from Indianapolis straight to Sao Paolo, it will cost me around 950USD...

pretty good deal, I believe....

but I hadn't return home for a while; and so I do have plans to visit my hometown during the break; and so i roughly made up an itinerary of going home first, then only visit the beautiful Brazil....

but who would have thought,


it costs freaking 7200USD to fly to Brazil from Penang!!!!!!

that's a hint.

it's a sign!!!







screw it, I am so going to Brazil. =)

hear me when i say...

people don't get me when I said I am fat, and i need to lose weight.

they would be like: -

"Where got fat?"
"Are you becoming anorexic?"
"You look ok what.."


Just look....

PG-18 rated

and if that ain't enough, how does 10 extra kgs of excess weight sound to you?

not satisfy yet?

make it being unable to button the pants that once upon a time used to be very loose to you?

I am not as ignorant as you guys.

I need to lose weight; and I will.


but putting a stop to my regime, I cooked bah kut teh and invited my friends over to have dinner.

so, I had a good dinner, and....

I HAD MY FIRST MANGO IN A YEAR!!!
-bahagia- =D

Till I have updates for u guys, adios!!

birng it on ya'll!!

this is the once in a lifetime (unless it happened again) for you all, so better grab it before it passes by...




I am opening for critics, for jokes and pokes, for harsh comments, for laugh all you want buffet, for ya'll to make fun of me, for you to say whatever you want...

about my weight.

yes, i know, 60kgs... GEMUK SIAL!

and i am up for the challenge, where i am going to get back to my original, pre-america body shape before i hit UK....

"this is my written pledge and commitment to work as hard as i can in order to fit into the skinny leggings that are damn chun right now."

anyone up for the deal? -wink-


throw it all on me, I so need motivation right now....




and yes, in case you are wondering, THAT is my current wallpaper.

black monday

for some reasons, mondays are sometimes just fucking retarded.

my monday started pretty well, before...

before i had to spent the last 2 and a half hours moping my apartment, cuz some retarded bastard caused the pipe to clogged (or maybe it happened for some other reasons)

but whatever that is, my unit was flooded with water, and as i said, i spent 2 fucking hours doing nothing else but moping the floor, squeezing water, pouring buckets and buckets of water....

thank god i had my dinner before the crisis. or maybe not. cuz i had just burnt all my carbohydrates, and now i am craving for more.

sorry for making this post so boring, cuz duh! I HAD A CRISIS over here!! who the hell has the time to snap photos when u are in a crisis!!!


herm, maybe i shud do some damaged claims from the apartment's office... free rental for the entire summer perhaps???

sze may tries her hands on baking

though i did not start from scratch, but i did a pretty good job baking this -OH MY GOD IT'S SO DAMN DELICIOUS- (be prepared)...

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE FUDGE - BROWNIE with cheesecake swirl

it's so damn good, that i already finished more than half of it even before i managed to snap a picture of it.

and owh, it just took me 3 days to finish the whole thing.

by myself of cuz.

*
*
*

that, was last week.

this is what i cooked this week.

nothing fancy, but good enough to satisfy my craving taste buds.

PAPADUUUUuuumm... :D

some Indonesian Beef soup, which looks yucky but taste so damn good...

and the yet to be cooked rice.

as i said, nothing fancy.

but when u haven't ate anything Oriental for the past few months, this is already considered as heaven to me. =)


but of cuz, i have my lazy days, where i would rather just order in, sit back and eat while watching grey's. owwh, grey's...

best pizza in B-town, in my opinion. and what's with feeding your head???

ahh, food. how i miss good food.

oh my god i can't believe it is wednesday!!!

in the morning, i thought it was tuesday.

as the day moved into noon, i realized that it's actually wednesday.

but as i continue doing my job, it feels like monday to me.

just when i was about to clock off, i know today is wednesday.

and as i headed to class, i kept thinking that it is still tuesday.

before i snooze off for a quick nap, i checked the calender, owh well, it's wednesday alright.

and then i realized...

owh crap, it's already thursday tomorrow, and guess what, before you knew it the week is over!

things that i am missing out

and so the beautiful summer has arrived (despite the crazy thunderstorms i am experiencing now in Bloomington), and call me a fool or even idiot, i had made my mind to stay back and spend the next four months here.



and these are the stuffs that i am missing out if i bought a ticket home instead:



1. mega blockbusters.

yea, this coming out from me who is currently in the United States, where Hollywood belongs. but let's face it, my place isn't any glamorous like New York or LA. it's BLOOMINGTON for god's sake. movie tickets cost the same in Malaysia, but it's in US Dollars, and the movie theater is far WORST than the cinema back in Bukit Jambul. seriously.

and summer is the season of mega-must-watch-blockbusters, AND I am actually gonna miss these -



GREAT. and even though i am in Indiana, i am also missing out the latest Indiana Jones (the only thing people know about Indiana).





2. FOOD

the last time i ever had proper Malaysian food was when i visited New York. That is the closest i could get to the Char Koey Teow in Lorong Selamat. and it's been 4 months now that i had been cooking my own meal. and i have to admit i am not a good cook. I MISS MY MOM'S COOKING LA K? gah, every meal i cooked for myself is just for the sake of filling up my tummy; as in satisfying my taste buds? naahh.





3. FRIENDS and FAMILY

it has been 271 days since i left Penang and 169 days since i met the others in Chicago. I wonder what my friends and family are up to right now while this blog is being produced?

• will the ex-prefects be having our 'annual gathering'?

• i bet Jinny, Guan, Arthur and gang will head to the clubs every week this summer; and owh, will Tat be a new kaki in the clubbing gang?
• and and and... I HEARD THAT MOIS IS GOOD....... =(
  

• how about Corrinne? will she be even keeping in touch with others?

• I heard that Xin Lin is (or was) back in Penang; arrgggh, how i wish to be part of the gossip when Jing Ting, Shea Shuang, Shih Yi and gang talk about it during one of their "dates";

• Is Amy Tan still the principal of Convent Light Street? I wonder if Miss Kanageswari still torture the fifth and fourth formers in Addmaths? ooowwh, is the gila babi Puan Malini still there? and what happened to the new hall renovation they had been talking for ages?
  

• gaaah, what's up with my biotches latetly? (yes, Eileen, Hooi Pin, Wei Wei, Florence, Michelle... I am talking bout u guys!! xD)... the last time I talked to Eileen was during CNY, and the only source i get my updates is from faichai, other than that, I am LOST...i miss you guys so much!!! >.<

• since my sis is back home, i believe my parents are in good hands; but what's with their addiction to mahjong lately? playing till 3am daily/weekly?
  

• I am still waiting for Angeline's reply on facebook.... she writes on everyone's wall but mine... hermm, I wonder why; but how is she lately??? and how's May Teoh coping as the new head of ADP in Inti?

• one of my cousin is in the states, I wonder how is her student exchange experience so far; I bet she is having a blast! how's my other cousin taking SPM this year deal with it? hah, it just makes me think about the last time i had SPM... ooo, freaky, to realized how fast time flies....

• gin ying must have reached Penang and gulping all the hawker food by now; others will join her shortly. how's summer holiday going to be without me back home? bah... i think too much. it may not even make a difference. x|
• is ban mee still operating at the same spot? still the same price? still the same taste?

• I heard there's more shops now in Queensbay; but I wouldn't be bother bout it anyways....
  
• owh wait, is Penang becoming more LA-LA ness???
• Didn't I mentioned it before, I MISS HAWKER/MY MOM'S/MY AUNT'S/MAMAK's food?

4. the familiarity and coziness and convenience and home-ness and everything else i grew up with

i miss my car, though it is a crappy one.
i haven't drive for a while.
i hate taking the bus.
i am sick of walking.
i don't like the situation where transportation is the issue and i am unfamiliar with the surroundings.
i am beginning to get bored of my job.
i am tired of living alone.
i want to sleep on my comfy bed, not my cheapskate bed here.
i miss my maid.
i run out of clean clothes and underwear occasionally because i am lazy to do my laundry.
i am tired everyday after working and peer tutoring.
i am sick of eating unhealthy, sinful, fattening food everyday.
i want food to be served to me everyday.





oh god.


i am whining like a baby now.



and all those complaints about food make me hungry.

*
*
*

i miss home, family, penang, friends, food, people, cars, everything. but life goes on.



yes, life goes on.

justice

he partied every weekend;
she has no life other than studying, working, and more studying.

he skips classes because he couldn't wake up;
she forced herself to wake up and embrace -10degrees outdoor and goes to class.

he stayed up till 3 in the morning to play ps3;
she tried to finish her homework and readings though it's way passed her bedtime.

he just photocopied/copy/ask for/steal other people's notes.
she paid attention and jotted down to every single word that came out of the lecturer's mouth.

he is a f*cking bastard who cheats in tests and exams.
she doesn't even dare to look up during examinations.

he didn't bother doing his homework, but instead wait till the very last minute;
she started her assignment the very first second it was posted.

he is a bloodsucker, a parasite who just knows how to manipulate his friends;
she works hard for everything she wants, and even was at times manipulated by her friends.





he, ended up with a higher GPA than her.
he, ended up with a higher recommendation than her.
he, ended up receiving all the benefits that she craves for.
he, ended up becoming the 'role model'.



he, ended up having everything he doesn't deserve at all.



speaking about justice. or do you want to blame karma?



ps: it doesn't really matters if it is a "HE" or "SHE", and in case you are wondering if the 'she' in the passage is me, just go figure.

a fruitful thought...

ever since i came to the states, I...

• slept less, waayyy less than when i was back home

• cooked more cuisine than i thought i know how to cook

• speak more malay than all the bahasa melayu i spoke when i was in primary and high school combined

• got burns and bruises on my hands, and it is increasing

• worked, earned money, and will be a supervisor

• make new friends from different background, culture, thought, personality

• walked so much that i think walking across the Penang Bridge is not a problem for me

• discovered, and fall in love with a band with the same name as me -MAE

• met interesting americans, who open my eyes to the real american culture

• spent most of my time in front of the computer, which substituted the time i usually spent at home watching tv

• watch waayyy less tv and movies; in fact i am so outdated with the latest movie gig

• converse, worked with, and compete against more ang mohs in my entire life

• became more kiam siap than ever before

• dyed my hair

• made satay

• touched, played with and get sick of snow

• endured 0 degrees celcius with just t-shirt and jeans

• gained more than 10 kgs (yes, laugh as much as u want)

• inspired and motivated than ever before
  

• the list goes on and on...

the conclusion?



i'm having a very fruitful experience in America after all. =D



goodnight people. my summer holiday starts today, and i shall enjoy my sleep buffet before having to slave myself working from 8-3 daily.

my life is not entirely ruined...

(rather than using the word fucked, i choose to use ruined)

....but i am damn pissed with my results.

i try to prove them wrong that i can make it by taking full 17 credit hours (all tough business subjects), working on weekends, becoming a peer tutor and taking part in shitty society that wasted my precious time.

i guess in the end the only person i proved wrong is myself.


but i shall not give up; it'll just push me to work even harder and further than my capability.

and i will prove them wrong, i will prove myself right.




no, my life is not fucked. instead, it had barely began...





welcome, to my life. period.