bye bye...

and so she left....

CRAP, in less than 48 hours, it would be my turn.....

surprise surprise, i do not feel any of the excitement to go at all...

as a matter of fact, i;m pretty reluctant to leave.....

one reason is that i'm scared....

but the main reason would be leaving my aged parents behind, with my brother who doesn't provide much help.....

• my mother is recovering, but i doubt that she'll recover on time before my bro leaves....
• just a few days before my departure and yet shits is happening at my home...
• i'm wondering if my father is capable to cope the stress that we're facing now....
• and owh, the boys in my house are pretty much dependent, which makes me worry about what will happen after i left....

the list goes on and on, in which if i kept on going, i may end up changing my mind and not going instead....

but blah... i had spent sooo much money and effort in it...

so no matter how hard it is, i just have to keep on going....

i have to be strong, even though i feel weak; i have to act tough, even though i'm very scared....


and in this kinda situation, i just wish i can be a lil kiddo again, where eating and playing is our main concern, other stuffs doesn;t matter anymore.......

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LEAVING SOON!!!!
*sobs*